Tuesday, March 31, 2009

DPS is just a number - or is it?

If there is a 12-step group for dps meter addiction, I think I need one. I always run one in the background, although the only thing I really look at with the druid is if I'm keeping up with the dispels, because not abolishing poison or removing curses is the main way to wipe on some fights. The warlock is another story. Recount is set to autohide on combat so it doesn't distract me, but I am constantly looking at it between fights, and almost always check what I do after a boss fight.
I didn't used to be this way. I could be content to come in, do my job, and get out without feeling a need to do at least 2.5k dps overall. I avoided the dps meter like I avoid walking through places that are slippery or cluttered. What's changed?
I think one thing that is different is how much I enjoy raiding. Another is that, although the officers are very quick to let me know that they value me for more than my dps, I want to bring the pain. The third thing is extremely dysfunctional, and it cuts to the core of my experiences over the past 3 years. I am rough on myself because, in my own way, I am protecting myself from rejection. I'm determined that no one is going to put me down the way a couple of former GM's (emphasis on the former) did.
The reality is that dps is important. Is it important for me to always be able to do at least 3k dps? Not in the current content. When people look at the damage meter and see what I'm doing, what do they think? I don't know, but y'all are welcome to tell me (shameless hint). Is this constant chasing higher and higher dps healthy, or does it cause us to lose who we are? The truth is, there is a finite amount of damage you can do to a boss, especially if you are very successful. A typical player will be able to hit a mob faster and more often than me, so I will not do as much damage, which affects dps.
I decided to write the post to sort of be a devil's advocate, and also to solicit feedback. Is there a magic number? What do you think when you look at recount?

Monday, March 30, 2009

The Keybinding Trial

"you think that your the only one who doesn't have to try, and you won't have to fail. If you're afraid to fight, then I guess you never will." - 3 Doors Down, "It's the Only One You've Got"
Lots on my mind this morning. Had a few starts and stops in my writing over the weekend. I put a lot of thought into this blog, and do my best writing when I'm sitting alone listening to my mp3 player in a quiet house. 3 Doors Down especially inspires me.
Well, I gave in and decided to try keybinding. Something about my buddy not letting the issue go, especially when it's obvious he understands at least some of the challenges I face, convinced me to give it a fair shot.
I set my keybinds up Saturday afternoon, and began the painful process of retraining my brain. One of the things I love about playing with elite gamers is that they understand things like training your brain and muscle memory that generally only physical and occupational therapists understand.
Saturday evening, I took the warlock into a 10-man Naxx with mostly guild alts. I let everyone know what I was doing, partially because I'm a girl, and partially because they needed to know why I was irritable and making mistakes that I wouldn't ordinarily make. The hardest thing for me right now is using the mouse for turning. That will get better with practice, and I think I'm seeing some gains. Yesterday, on a 25-man Sartherion pug, I did 4k dps on Shadron. I topped the meter on a couple of 10-man Naxx fights Saturday and Sunday night. All in all, it's going better than I thought it would.
The crew of AbleGamers.com was at GDC '09 this past week, and decided to ask the people who make the games that we all love to play, "Have you ever thought about how disabled people play games?" You can see the video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8z7-pd5gWBY&feature=player_embedded and answer the question for yourself.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Making the Difference

It's not often that I can point to a moment where I can say, "My coming into or being in that raid was the difference between a wipe and a kill." I usually come in, do my job, and hope it's enough to justify me being there.
Thursday nights I usually don't raid because my children have Boy Scouts, and I have responsibilities in their troop. Last night, we got home, and while I was helping my older son get some information he needed for school today, I logged into ventrilo. Lots of people on, no one talking. That's not a good sign. Log onto WoW, 25 people in guild on, 23 in Eye of Eternity or Borean Tundra. Send a tell to Dev, "I'm available if you need me." I'll fly to Naxx or OS before getting confirmation, but not to Coldarra. Get invite, hope I can pump out enough dps without any elixirs or flasks, and grab the flight out there.
I get in, and as the only Warlock, drop a soulwell. Realize that there are 23 people who are already happy I'm there. Get out my imp, self-buff with Fel Armor, Spellstone, and Fish Feast, drop my Summoning Circle and I'm off after helping to summon one of our healers who had also just logged on.
Phase 1 of the Malygos fight rocked. I was getting all my DoTs up, killing Power Sparks which the death knights positioned perfectly, and using the buff. When Maly flew up into the air for phase 2, we had him down lower than I think we ever have. Unfortunately, I took too much damage during a breath and died (damn shrinking bubbles), but my recount showed about 2300 dps or so. Not bad for no flask. Long story short (I know, too late), we got him down.
In reality, it takes more than one person to make or break a raid, but I am so happy that I made such a big contribution to our success.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Feeding the Ego

Last night was a fun time of Wintergrasp, heroics, and 10 mans. Whenever anyone asks for interest, I offer dps or heals, because it really doesn't matter to me which I play. I think I'm a better healer than a dpser, and the only person who will admit to disagreeing with me thinks that I could get more dps out of keybinding. I do enjoy doing both, and am always looking for the extra practice and edge which will get me to consistent 3k dps.
Anyway, it's well known in the guild that I run a meter all the time, to the point of almost being psychotic about it. I do it for me, for improvement. Anyway, we were clearing 10 man vault trash, and I get a tell from one of the guys who is on his alt, "How's my dps looking?" I tell him he's third, right behind me. "We'll see what happens when we get to the boss." I decided to take this as a challenge, which was kind of fun. I stayed in the top 3 damage for vault trash and 10 man OS. I also healed my first heroic Utgarde Pinnacle, and heroic Violet Hold.
I love being able to top the dps meter. I love seeing how much of the damage pie I can get when I'm not up against some of the top damage dealers on the server. It's good for my ego to know that although I will always struggle to crack the top 5 in 25-mans, I don't fail.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Of Disabilities and Gaming

Lileia, who writes the blog In the Fringes, has been referencing articles from http://www.ablegamers.com/ lately. I love this site! It's so wonderful to find a group of people that understand why I enjoy gaming so much, even though it's difficult. Today, Lileia was talking about in-game communication, and referring to an article by Steve S. about Warhammer and the online keyboard.
The type, severity, and what is affected by cerebral palsy generally has to do with how and when the brain damage occurred. My cp is not very severe, but it is pervasive, which means that just about anything that depends on the interaction of nerves and muscles for voluntary movement is affected. What that means is that I'm not a fast typist, and even talking on vent can be an issue on a bad day.
One thing Steve talks about in his article that Lileia alludes to is that in games, our disabilities become invisible (mine is invisible most of the time anyway, but still) and we are free to interact without stares, questions, or prejudice. This is a good thing, most of the time. Every person in a pug doesn't need to know that I am disabled. I agree with Lileia, though, that it can be freeing to let those I run with all the time know what's going on.
I've been more open with the members of Clan Redundancy Clan about my disability than I have with any other guild. Doing so was a risk, and could have backfired. What I have gained by being open, however, is the ability to be myself. When I get excited about putting out the dps that any warlock with my gear should be able to put out, my guildies understand why. When I have trouble doing the safety dance or making the jump on Thaddius, they understand that too, although they would be much happier if I could execute flawlessly. To be accepted for who I am without apology or qualification, to know that my guildies understand but will gently push me to dig a little deeper when needed, is a rare gift that I treasure.

Warlock vs. Resto Druid

One thing I've been doing in my head is comparing the warlock vs. the druid (dots vs. hots, I guess). I can't really choose which one I like more, that would be like choosing between my children. I love them both, but in different ways.
Soloing on the warlock is the most fun I have on any of my damage dealers. I get to use a pet, and can heal myself using haunt, siphon life, and drain life. Who doesn't love a warlock in a group? You get summons, healthstones, and a soulstone. Also, with all my dots, I can do damage even when I'm moving and getting reset.
Before patch 3.0, trying to deal damage on a resto druid was painful. You had to switch out your gear and go in cat or bear, popping out to heal and hoping you didn't go out of mana before the mob went down. Now that spellpower is used for damage and healing, soloing on the druid is super-easy mode. I cast moonfire, then roll starfire and lifebloom. I rarely get below 75% health using this method. Plus, doing all the quests that require riding a dragon no longer contain the fear of dying from fall damage. If my combat vehicle dies, I hit flight form and fly away. I also have a distinct advantage in groups, since I can resurrect people in or out of combat.
Would I ever change my main character? It would depend on the needs of the guild. We all made our choices about what we wanted to raid in Wrath. I was willing to play the druid, but didn't have the confidence to say, "I can be a good healer." Now I can say, "I'm not a bad lock, but I'm a good healer." For now, I'm content with playing a warlock with a druid alt.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

You take it! No, you take it!

One of the ways that you can tell when you're in a guild that doesn't put top priority on loot is when you see that type of conversation about minor upgrades, or on gearing alts. At the same time, I wish it would stop. My guild uses a loot council system, which means the officers and a randomly chosen member decide who gets loot if more than one member considers it an upgrade. I love this system, because there is no randomness to it, yet officers can (and often do) reward positive behavior such as showing up to raids, staying until the end, and playing a class role well.
This whole topic came up in my mind because this week, we decided to do a 25-man Naxx run with alts. When I got back from scouts with my boys, I logged in on my druid, and noticed that there were only 24 members on. I immediately asked if I was needed, and on which toon. The response was a very strong, "Bring what you want." I brought the druid because she needed gear, but I was seriously willing to bring the warlock to get some raid data to support my position that what I am doing is working.
The thing that perplexed me was the extremely protective tone a couple of the guys had. I know I deserved the same chance to bring an alt that everyone else had, but do they honestly think that I would have offered my lock if there was no benefit to me bringing her? In loot decisions, I trust the officers and the loot council, and only say, "Give it to X" if X has not gotten loot in a while.

Friday, March 20, 2009

I Don't Live in Your World

The main feedback I get from guildies who read my blog (and ::::hugs:::: to each of you, I do appreciate it) is that I bring a different perspective to the game. I'm definitely not the typical gamer, and I'm especially not the typical raider, yet I am a raider, and I'm constantly fighting to improve.
Tuesday night, I shared with a friend the gains I'm making in dps and what I'm doing differently to get those gains. His response, "You really should be using hotkeys." I replied, "I've tried it, it hasn't worked."
Wednesday night, alt 10-man Naxx (well, 9 men and me lol). I get a tell, "You tried hotkeys yet?" What resulted was a heated debate in between fights about what I should be doing, that at one point degenerated to me asking "don't you *%#$ing trust me?" and no, I didn't use the symbols.
My brain is extremely unusual, and many times, even I don't know if something will work or not unless I try it. I keep what works, and change what doesn't. It is so easy for me to get into the "me vs. you" mentality with my guildmates and husband, and I try not to. After my little outburst, my friend apologized for upsetting me (raiding rule #1: don't piss off your healer) and explained to me his viewpoint. His points are valid, but what I'm doing is working for me. I can top the damage meters on boss fights in 5 mans now, and (ready, Dev?) I finally feel like I can go into Ulduar with my head held high.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Baby Steps are Still Steps

Yesterday I was still recovering from the weekend, so I was on WoW more than I had intended. I ran CoT:Strat on the lock in both heroic and regular modes to help some guildies out. I've changed the way I play the lock a bit. Boom made the suggestion a while back that I switch to using the mouse rather than pushing buttons. Bry and I both thought that using the mouse for everything might be a bit hard, so I pushed it to the back of my mind. I realized while working on the target dummy one day, though, that it is quicker to click that to push buttons. What I've done is to make a 3 by 3 matrix on the right side of my screen using bartender for my spell rotation, and use my left hand for movement, targeting, and some aoe spells. That way, I get the control of movement from the wasd keys and the speed of clicking with the mouse.
So, there we were in heroic strat, on the second boss. After it was over, I looked at recount to check it out:
Me (on vent): Any of you guys running a meter?
Guildies: No, but the pug druid is.
Me: My meter says I did over 3k dps for that boss!
I feel much more positive about where I am and where I can go now. It's really a game of inches to get enough dps to move on with my guild. Most importantly, I'm no longer questioning what they see in me, because I'm starting to see it also.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Glimmers of Hope

"Hope is a Thing with Feathers: - Emily Dickinson
I was worn out yesterday. Saturday, I spent a good part of the day clearing dead, diseased, and overgrown climbing roses out of the garden, so I can put some perennials in once we are beyond danger of frost. I'm slowly making our new house into a home where we feel comfortable. Saturday night into the early morning, I healed for a pug Naxx 10, and got about six epics. Once the adrenaline wore off, I was able to sleep, but still was up by 9 am.
Yesterday afternoon, I was running around on the druid, levelling engineering and waiting for a guildie to come on and run heroics, when I got a tell from the guy I pug Naxx with asking me if I'm in for 10 man Malygos. Now, when I'm tired, it shoots my reaction time all to hell, and I didn't survive the fight. This gave me an opportunity to study the affliction lock, whose dps was low for his gear. A quick study of his castbar showed me that he didn't put up enough dots, and had several seconds where he wasn't casting. That confirms for me what I'm seeing in my own play. I know where the challenges are, now I just have to overcome them.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

The Myth of the {jerk} Raider

Sorry for the placeholder, but I'm attempting to keep this somewhat clean.
I never cease to be reminded of what good men the officers of my guild are. The druid is still undergeared, but keeps up with geared players in healing, yet the warlock is a constant struggle to have enough dps. I can have honest conversations with the guild officers about my struggles, triumphs, and what I'm thinking. There's no benefit to the guild if I switch to my healer, as we are not generally having a problem finding healers. I wait for the day a warlock app appears on the forum with a mix of anticipation and dread. I know that the competition of another warlock won't be as motivating as the chip on my shoulder, but it will help the guild to not always have to rely on me.
Had an interesting conversation yesterday with someone I've been in a couple of guilds with. During the conversation, the comment was made, "Raiders tend to be asses." A former GM of mine used to say that quite frequently. Of course, this is the same person that told me no other guild would make as many accomodations for me as hers did.
In my experience, most of the people who tend to scapegoat, stereotype, and generally be an ass are not the top echelon of players. There are plenty of elitists out there, including my husband, although I can keep him reigned in when we run together. With only a couple of exceptions, though, I've found most raiders to be decent, civilized, polite people. Yes, a raider will call you out if he or she sees where you can improve, but honestly, that's how you grow. Raiders also aren't likely to listen to excuses, but excuses are counterproductive. Share your challenges, swallow your excuses.

Friday, March 13, 2009

The Revolution of Rising Expectations

Last night, I was running some lower level instances on the shadow priest and was able to identify why warlock dots are easier for me to manage than shadow priest dots. With Vampiric Touch and Vampiric Embrace primarily dependent on Mind Blast damage, watching the cooldown timer as well as dot timers is essential (destro, anyone? yuck). Answers are coming slowly, but they are coming.
Yesterday, one of my guildies posted on our forums a video of a guy multiboxing 5 toons at once on a pvp server, doing arenas and running VH. Part of the time, he showed a cutaway of his hands hitting keys and moving the mouse and trackball. I was astounded at this guy's quickness.
I keep wanting to be able to do things as fast as a neurotypical person. In an effort to discourage botting, Blizzard has chosen to not allow any programs that automate key clicks, and has set in-game macros so each command casts simultaneously, rather than in sequence. This means that an extremely intelligent person with damage to the parts of the brain that control movement and reaction time can't find workarounds to give her consistent 3500+ dps. It's frustrating, but is it fair?
Life isn't fair. If life was fair, I wouldn't have to work twice as hard for the same results. If I sound bitter, it's because I am. Bitterness becomes the fuel that drives me to always look for new ways to improve. Bitterness is why I can be replaced on a boss kill and come back the next week just to show you that I can do it. There are very few people I allow to see the bitterness, and it would probably shock a lot of people to know how bitter I really am. In the end, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I am a better person for my experiences in this game.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The View from the Bench

Last night was a pretty good raid night. Started out with a one shot of Malygos, although I died because my rhythm was off on phase 3. He dropped some shoulders which were a bit of an upgrade for me and no one else needed, so I got them. On to Sarth with 3 drakes. I managed the fire walls and void zones very well, but I couldn't get above 2K dps with all the movement and changing targets. I lose extra time whenever I have to change targets or move. Once I get set on a target I'm good, but getting set quickly is a challenge, and I don't know how to overcome it, unless there is a way to get more brain cells. Lack of dps started becoming a factor in the group's success, so I stepped out for the fight, and headed to Dalaran to check on Wintergrasp and see if the portal was up.
Anytime I have to sit, it makes me reflect on what it means to be a Raid Member of a top tier guild. I come prepared with flasks, at least 10 fish feasts, healing potions, and an Abyssal Bag full of soul shards. I work to learn the fights and not stand in stuff. I step out when necessary. Last night, after seeing that we had Wintergrasp, but the portal wasn't up, I flew on to the Vault so I could summon people. All these things make me a valuable member of the team.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My return to raid healing

Last night, there was a PuG trying to finish 10-man Naxx that needed a healer. The raid leader was one of my husband's guildies on an alt, so I whispered him. We'd already tried to run on Saturday night, so he knew I was undergeared. It went surprisingly well, except for the fact that my mana regen sucks, which is entirely gear-related. My husband came in for the last two bosses on his warrior, and at the end of the night, the raid leader said to him, "Your wife did very well." Considering my husband is in one of the top alliance progression guilds on the server, I felt very good about that.
This brings up an interesting dilemma. Whenever I can get myself fully epiced out, will I be a better healer than I am a dpser? If so, will changing mains be good for the guild, or just good for me? I don't want to be the person who is constantly changing toons and always needing runs or loot. I do know, however, that I don't have what it takes to run Ulduar on the lock at this moment, and I don't know if I can get there.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

The Champion in Me

"I know I, I was born to be this way. Every day I try, and I'll do everything that it takes to become the one I've always wanted to be. Watch right now and you will see the champion in me." - 3 Doors Down, "The Champion in Me"
I've always enjoyed a challenge. I think that's why I enjoyed swimming so much, and I know it's one of the reasons I like WoW. Being able to overcome the roadblocks that life has put in my way is extremely gratifying.
I ran an instance with my shadow priest last night, and was surprised at how high my dps was, until I remembered that she is my toon that cleared Hyjal and all of BT except RoS and Illidari Council. I'm enjoying healing on the druid, and think I do pretty well, for my gear.
I thought that by the time I was able to get the Twilight Vanquisher title, I'd have the dps to do Ulduar. That hasn't happened. For some reason, I can't cast SB fast enough, even spamming it. I've come to a decision, though. If the officers can handle sitting me, I can handle staying a Raid Member, being prepared for raids, and then stepping out when I need to. Who knows, maybe there's an answer out there somewhere for me.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

In Memoriam

"Do you think those that love us truly ever leave us?" - JK Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
One of the reasons that I stick with WoW where I might not stick with another video game is that there are real people behind the characters. Last night, I found out that one of those people had passed away. This entry is dedicated to him and another friend that I lost last fall.
I met Daylin when the small guild I was in was absorbed by his guild. He made sure that we felt welcomed and comfortable. The memories I treasure of him are that he was skilled at playing both a rogue and a priest, and that he was willing to play whichever toon was needed at the time. We lived in the same county, and after I left the guild, he sent me a tell saying that we needed to stay in touch and meet up for coffee with our spouses. My friend, I knew you less than a year, but I will never forget you.
Truepimp was an amazing warlock, but more than that, he was a great guy. I could have a conflict with him where he would make me completely mad, but then talk it out later on. When I was thinking about leaving a guild where I felt I didn't belong, he sent me a tell and said, "I don't want you to leave. You are one of us." My tribute to him is that my hunter pet, Nate, is named after him. Whenever Nate helps me out of a tight spot, I think of his namesake.
Hug those you love, and tell them you love them.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Through the Fire and the Flame, We Carry On!

The moment of truth!
Me with my title and the achievements

Because of some school meetings running a little too close to Scouts, I was able to get into the raid last night. Because it had been a couple of weeks, it took me a few attempts to get used to the sensory overload.
On the last attempt, I was on it, though. As Tenebron was going down, Dev said, "This is the dps I need." I ate a void zone just as Shadron went down, so I was really hoping hard.
As Sartherion went down, Dev said, "Grats Carol on your title." It was not as emotional a moment as I was expecting, but was very gratifying nonetheless. Thank you to my wonderful guild for always standing behind me.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

No Easy Answers

I made a death knight a few days ago, wondering if it might be a more forgiving toon for my to play. Plus, I was having a really bad day and having a dark toon just felt right. Going through the first 5 levels, I loved it. It is so easy to kill stuff quickly and unless you pull 10 mobs, survivability isn't usually an issue.
Yesterday, though, I realized that it's not that simple. I was trying to solo the drillmaster quest in Hellfire Peninsula and failing. I asked in guild if I should be able to solo it and the answer was yes, but move out of the whirlwind. Therein lies the problem. There are no classes that take the ability to react quickly out of the equation. Do I see this as a bad thing? No. The game is tuned to be challenging to the most skilled players while being enjoyable for everyone. Making it too easy would make it less fun. This knowledge, however, does help me realize that I'm on the right track.
Last night, while I was getting frustrated with the dk and not really finding heroics for the druid, I decided it was time to level the priest. Getting her out and questing with her, I realized two things. The first is, they either fixed the problems from the pre-Wrath patch or my skill gains with the lock are transferring to the priest. The second is, I am over the pain of the past two years. It feels very good to know that, while I will still work hard on my dps, looking back won't hurt any more.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

We can dance, we can dance, everybody look at your hands!

Yesterday was, by all accounts, a good day. My dad got the best news he could possibly hope for regarding his cancer, and it appears that I am not going into a full major depressive episode as I previously thought. Our Immortal hopes were dashed by the lag boss, however, we were still looking to get whatever achievements we could.
The safety dance was so much easier the second time. I knew how to move, although I found it amusing that I got a PWS right away. I came into the guild as a priest, and Bast, Rali, and Younger still look out for me. :-)
Thaddius, my other bete noir, was no problem either. I made the first jump rather easily, and moved when I needed to. According to Recount, my dps was decent also. I think I ended up 12th or 13th on the damage meter. Granted, the main aggro pullers were holding back, but it gave me some interesting perspective.
The thing I am realizing is that I don't have to apologize for who I am with this guild. We are a team, and my guildmates will not let me fail.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Power of Words

Yesterday, I was told by two separate guildies that I worry too much about my performance. The second friend spent some time talking to me about past history and why I feel the way I do. It really got me thinking about how powerful words are, especially in a MMO, where words are all we have.
Two years ago, I had the priviledge of hearing a talk by a motivational speaker and author named David Weber, who wrote a book called "Sticks and Stones: The Power of Words". In his book, he talks about two types of people, who he calls Frog Giggers and Frog Kissers. Gigging is a term used in the midwestern and southern US for capturing frogs and flounder by spearing them with a long stick. Frog giggers pull people down, while Frog kissers, like the princess in the fairy tale, build people up.
I've been in guilds where most of the officers and the top tier of players were Frog Giggers. All I heard from them was how I was not good enough at dps, healing, whatever. Sadly, those guilds never saw a good portion of content. I've also been experiencing what it's like to be in a guild full of Frog Kissers. With them, I've been able to do far more than I ever expected in this game, and the biggest encouragers of all are the three officers.
What does that mean for the leadership of a guild? Well, I'd say if you want to get the best out of your members, be a frog kisser. Put a priority on getting them into runs where they will succeed, and let them try to spread their wings and stretch themselves.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Of Druids and Pugs

Yesterday, I finally got the druid to 80! I respecced resto, swapped out my gear, downloaded some healing addons, and took a break.
When I came back, I was hoping to finish a 10-man Naxx run, but we couldn't get it together, so while some of the guys went off to try 10-man Sarth with 3 drakes, I decided to pug some heroics to get gear. I could have asked, begged, and called in favors to get a guild run, but I really didn't want to do that for my first run out of the gate.
So I looked in Atlas Loot to see where there was gear that I needed, and joined looking for group. Then I saw someone in Trade looking for a healer for heroic Utgarde Keep. Utgarde Keep is the easiest heroic to run, so I thought it would be a perfect warm-up.
So, I join the group, and immediately the death knight inspects me and starts fussing about my gear and mana pool. I decide to drop, but Clique won't let me, so I ask in guild how to leave a party from the command line and explain the situation, while telling the party that if they aren't comfortable, it's cool. Healers are hard to find, so they decide to try it, and my guildies advise me to leave the party. I still can't do it, so I decide to stick it out. Get in the instance and the dk makes a comment about turning 80 yesterday and running Naxx last night. And he's fussing about my gear when he's never seen me heal, or manage my mana?
First pull, and so far, so good. Clique is super easy to use, although I realize right away that the keybindings are wrong for me. I can work with it though. Healing isn't a problem until the 3rd pull, when the tank lost aggro and we wiped. We get through those pulls and into the foundry-type room. The tank says, "Car, can you root square?" Figuring he knew what he was doing, stupid me said, "Sure". So he pulls, I root, I heal, I see AGGRO in red letters on my screen, I die. DK makes more snarky comments about me conserving mana, and I ask again how to leave a party.
I have never seen a group of people close ranks as fast as CRC did last night. I wasn't really upset, more annoyed than anything, yet the way my guildies reacted, you would have thought this guy insulted their mothers. It was such a contrast between the person who didn't even throw down a death and decay to help the tank hold aggro off the healer, and people who have mastered all the current content, yet aren't afraid to help a feisty disabled lady enjoy the game. I renewed my commitment to my guild last night. Whatever it takes, I'm there for them.