I refuse to cut myself some slack!

So, I was chatting with a couple of my guildies today, and in two separate conversations, at different times of the day, Thursday night's raid came up. One of the things I mentioned was that no one called me on how many times I died to standing in runes. The response from both of them was "cut yourself some slack". I love these guys, I respect these guys, but I can't do it. One of them talked about how little I'd seen those fights, but I'd been in them before, and I've survived those fights before. There is no excuse for me not seeing them and moving.
I think some of the reason it bothers me when people tell me to cut myself some slack is that it reminds me of the tendency of nondisabled people to be patronizing when it comes to the effects of my disability. I remember when I was in elementary school and we would have to run the 50-yard dash (yes, I could run, and I still could if the years of trying to pass weren't taking their toll). It seemed that no matter what my time was (and it was always several seconds behind the other kids), the response I would get was, "That's good, for you." I always felt that they were saying, "If it was my time I'd be upset, but it's good enough for the handicapped girl." It just feels like a double standard, and I hate double standards.
One thing that each of them said, and I do appreciate it, was how much other people were failing also. Well, what's their excuse? I know I can avoid the painful runes and stand in the ones on Iron Council that increase my dps. I know how to do that and I've done it before. If I can't avoid a one-shot where I have warning, what right do I have to be there? If I can't contribute to the kill, I'm letting my guildies down, plain and simple.